Queen of the Clouds
by TrustNoOne182
Summary: In the end the passion won out, though they had both known it always would, but will it be enough to get them through the storm? JohnLock. Story has been marked complete, there will be no more updates in the foreseeable future.
1. My Gun

**A/N: I have been working on this story for what seems like ages. I had intended to post it sooner, but I moved recently and that took up all of my time. Oh, and Comic Con was last weekend...and that was incredible! Anyways, this is the story that I had promised when I finished my story Pushing Boundaries. They aren't related, this is a new idea I've been toying with. The song is _My Gun_ by Tove Lo from her CD _Queen of the Clouds_. I am obsessed with this CD and I realized the story arch would make for an interesting JohnLock story. I'd like to say I will post regularly, but be patient with me. Enjoy!**

* * *

 ** _Part 1: The Passion._**

 _Heads turns your body burn, rip off your clothes for me_

 _Make out, lash out, keep dancing naked, feeling free_

 _That's my gun, that's my gun, that's my gun…_

 _Last night you were who you prefer because of me_

 _Wake up messed up but you're still happy as can be_

 _That's my gun, that's my gun, that's my gun…_

John Watson was not gay, this he was certain of. He had never had sex with a man, and had never thought about having sex with a man.

Sherlock was an attractive man, John was secure enough in his sexualtiy to admit that, but that didn't mean he wanted to sleep with him. There were puzzling moments when he would catch himself thinking of Sherlock in more than a friendly way. When Sherlock was bent over to examine something John frequently found himself appreciating the detective's backside though he told himself it was simply because Sherlock really did have a nice physique. When Sherlock invaded John's personal space John got distracted by the scent of the detectives skin, and began to wondered if it tasted as good as it smelled. And on more than one occasion John had wondered what kissing Sherlock would be like; whether he would overthink everything and it would be awkward, or maybe his expansive knowledge would make him an extraordinary kisser.

This was not a phase he was going through, he was much too old for that, and so he began to wonder. Sherlock occupied John's thought often, keeping him awake most nights. He had started to wonder whether he needed to move out and just get some space, but couldn't bring himself to even discuss it with Sherlock as he would need to offer up a reason for his moving out, and he couldn't imagine admitting his inner struggle to Sherlock.

So John didn't move out, Sherlock continued to be oblivious to John's feelings (or at least he acted as if he didn't know) and life continued on much as it always had for the occupants of 221B Baker Street.

John watched Sherlock work on one of his experiments on one quiet morning, his eyes tracing the movements of those long, graceful limbs. He was supposed to be preparing tea, and to be fair he was, but while he waited for the kettle to boil he admired his flatmate.

"Do you need something?" Sherlock asked looking up from his microscope. John was taken by surprise and only coughed as a reply. "You've been staring at me for the past two minutes, either you're lost in thought or you need something and just haven't asked yet. So, John, which is it?"

Sherlock turned around to look at John, his eyes flicking over John and absorbing every detail. John cleared his throat, aware that Sherlock was analyzing him. "Just lost in thought." _(About your arse.)_ The last part he thought to himself, wondering just how much Sherlock had figured out. The kettle started to whistle and John went about preparing tea. He set a mug down next to Sherlock and then took his own into the living room, where he sat down to work on his blog.

* * *

While chasing down a murder suspect Sherlock sustained a mild laceration to his right hip, which was inflicted by a small knife. Naturally he refused to let anyone take him to the hospital instead insisting John patch him up when they got back to the flat.

John went to fetch his medical kit and when he came back into the living room Sherlock was sitting in his chair and had already discarded his shirt. Sherlock stood up and watched as John began to clean the wound, his fingers working swiftly to wipe away any blood. He discarded the bloody cloth and began to apply antiseptic, dabbing the ointment on as gently as he could though he could hear Sherlock's sharp intake of breath as he did so.

"You really should try and be more careful," John said as he put the cap back on the ointment.

"I was trying to solve a case, I was rather focused." John chuckled as he began to put gauze over the area. Sherlock closed his eyes and put one hand on John's shoulder for support. Once he had finished John stood up, but didn't step back. He realized how close they were and he found himself unable to think clearly, he also found himself unwilling to step away from Sherlock.

"John," Sherlock breathed out his name, his hand slipped from John's shoulder to his waist, gripping him tightly. After a few long moments Sherlock sighed then sank into his chair. John sat down in his own chair and they sat in silence for a long time, both unsure of what to say to the other.

 _Do you think I'm easy?_

 _Boy if you gonna shoot me down, do it gently_

 _I'm not easy_

 _But go ahead and touch me now_

 _Do it gently_

When John informed Sherlock the next morning it was time to change the bandage Sherlock seemed a bit too pleased about this. He pulled his grey shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor and stood still while John took care of the wound.

As John was putting the ointment on again Sherlock gripped both of John's shoulders and John had to struggle to focus. Finally he had redressed the wound and was washing his hands in the kitchen. He had started to make tea when Sherlock came into the kitchen.

For a few moments he just stood back and watched John move about. When John stood on his tip toes to reach a box of tea that was on the top shelf Sherlock rushed forward to get it. He pressed his body against John's and effortlessly grabbed the tea. He didn't back away from John just then. Instead he put one hand on John's hip and put the other on the counter, effectively blocking John in.

"Sherlock, what are you doing?" John asked. His voice shook slightly but he didn't try to break free of Sherlock.

"I know what you want John, even if you are too afraid to admit it." Sherlock pressed his lips against John's ear as he spoke; the feeling of his breath on John's skin sent a shiver down John's spine. "Take what you want, no one has to know. We can call it an experiment, or a one time thing. Whatever you want to call it is fine by me, just do what you have been thinking about."

John closed his eyes and gripped the countertop. He could feel Sherlock's steady heartbeat against his back, and he hoped his own rapid heartbeat wouldn't give him away. Sherlock had already taken John's pulse, he had felt John's heart racing the moment he reached for the tea on the top shelf.

For what seemed like ages John stood silent, willing himself to push away from Sherlock and flee to the solitude of his bedroom. John did not push away from Sherlock, instead he turned so he was facing Sherlock, he bit his lip to keep from groaning at the feeling of his body dragging along Sherlock's slender frame. John knew that Sherlock was waiting for him to make the first move, and after a few more tense moments John put his hand on the nape of Sherlock's neck and pulled him in for a rough kiss.

Kissing Sherlock should have been awkward, it should have been like kissing his flatmate, instead it ignited a fire in John. There would come a day when John wished things had progressed differently, that he had been stronger, but on that day in their kitchen John wanted only Sherlock.

Sherlock ran his hands up and down John's back, and in one swift motion he had plunged both hands under John's shirt and was running his fingers along bare skin. At this John did groan against Sherlock's mouth, earning him a smirk from the detective. John knew Sherlock was analyzing everything and using it to his advantage. He stopped caring and instead let himself be consumed with passion and desire.

"Do you want to move to the bed?" Sherlock whispered. His lips were red from the snogging and his hair was a mess from John running his fingers through it. When John didn't respond Sherlock backed up, taking hold of John's hand and pulling him into the bedroom after him. Once inside he stripped down to his pants and John did the same.

Sherlock backed John up, pushing him onto the mattress and climbing on top of him. John had never imagined Sherlock would be so bold in bed. Though he had been thinking of his flatmate as more than just a friend, he had never imagined this. In his fantasies Sherlock was so willing to please, but he wasn't overbearing. The real Sherlock wanted to control John and the situation, and at the moment John wanted nothing more than to be under Sherlock's control.

Sherlock kissed his way up John's chest, nibbling at his neck hard enough to leave a mark, and then he brought their lips together again.

"Is this what you want, John? For me to take control?" Sherlock ran his tongue along John's lips, thrusting it inside John's mouth as soon as he was granted access.

"I want you, Sherlock. I haven't thought much farther ahead than that."

Sherlock grinned mischievously and then ground his hips against John's.

* * *

When John woke up the next morning the first thing he became aware of was that he was not in his own bed, the second was that Sherlock was snoring next to him.

He hadn't stopped at any point the previous night to think over how they would handle this new change in their relationship. A part of him wanted to just go back to how things were, as if nothing had happened. A much louder part of him wanted to continue on this new path and see where things lead.

Sherlock rolled into John, he rested his head in John's chest and slung an arm across John. In the end the passion won out, though they had both known it always would.

 _You're fine, you're mind_

 _I'm the mistake you wanna make_

 _Hey-ho let's go_

 _It's one more mistake you gotta make_

 _I'm Ace in space_

 _And, oh, I know you want to fly_

 _My tune, you're moon_

 _Jump on my cloud and we go high_

 **A/N: Let me know what you think! Until next time!**


	2. Like 'Em Young

**A/N: I thought about not using this song but decided to try and make it work. Enjoy! (Bonus points if anyone can pick up on the Torchwood reference).**

 _Eyes wide oh, you're so naive thinking_

 _No one knows better than me_

 _I like 'em young_

 _I, I like 'em young_

 _People make me wonder_

 _Age is just a number_

 _That they don't think about_

 _That's all I think about_

They had just gotten back from a case that had ended in a pursuit on foot and a scuffle over a loaded gun. Eventually John had managed to get control of the gun and the police had shown up. When Sherlock and John got back to the flat they were still high from the adrenaline. They shed their coats and for a moment stood in the doorway looking at each other. It was as if they both had something to say, but couldn't quite find the right words. John's eyes flickered across Sherlock's mouth and without thinking Sherlock grabbed John and began kissing him.

They hadn't spoken about what had happened between them all those months ago, instead they had slowly slipped back into their normal rhythm until it almost felt like nothing had happened. But something had happened-something which both men thought about, though neither wanted to admit it.

For months now they had been dancing around this moment of intimacy. Sherlock kept finding excuses to touch John and frequently would concoct an experiment that involved being close him. Though he probably thought he was being subtle Sherlock had noticed John watching him more than usual. It had been John's idea for that night to be just a one time thing, and Sherlock had respected his request, but that didn't mean he thought it was the best course of action. He knew that John would come back to him before long, all he had to do was be patient.

John wrapped his arms around Sherlock, eagerly returning the kiss. Their hands roamed over each others bodies as Sherlock backed John against the wall.

"I thought you weren't gay, and it was only a one time thing" Sherlock said between kisses. John chuckled and put his hands on Sherlock's hips, then pulled them against his own. He bit his lip when Sherlock repositioned so that his erection was pressed against John's.

John pulled Sherlock in for another kiss, tangling his fingers in the detective's curls. Sherlock tugged at John's jumper, pulling it over his head, and then traced his fingers along John's chest.

"Bedroom," John said, it came across as more of a command than a request. Sherlock only nodded and pulled John after him. They collapsed onto Sherlock's bed, Sherlock remained on top of John, taking control of the situation. He like to keep his eyes on John and watch his reaction to Sherlock's caresses. Maybe they weren't young men, but in that moment Sherlock felt as if they were teenagers again. Suddenly there was no force strong enough to keep them apart, no matter how hard they tried to fight it, though in that moment they weren't fighting it.

 _They say that they don't care but I…_

 _I can tell you're lying_

' _Cause we're all slowly dying_

 _Trying to work it out_

 _And all I think about_

 _I like 'em young…_

John laid on his back and looked up at Sherlock who was kneeling over him. Slowly Sherlock moved closer to John, and as he did so John reach up and slid his hands up Sherlock's legs, stopping at his hips. He gripped the detectives hips and looked up at Sherlock, waiting for him to make the next move.

Sherlock unbuttoned his shirt slowly, enjoying the way John was watching him. He dropped the shirt on the ground and then leaned into John. Their lips met and John kept pulling at Sherlock, trying to get their bodies as close together as possible. Sherlock began trailing kisses down John's neck, gently sucking on the tender skin. He worked his way down John's chest, twirling his tongue around first John's right nipple and then his left.

"Shoes, socks off now," Sherlock ordered. He stood up and removed his own shoes and socks, then slipped out of his trousers. He waited as John stripped down to his pants, and then grinned before stepping out of his pants. Sherlock covered John's body with own, their hips came together the same moment their lips met again. After that no force on Earth could have stopped them.

They became a tangle of limbs, so perfectly entwined that it seemed as if they had become one entity. John realized they were making a lot of noise and he was certain that Mrs. Hudson would make a comment about it when she brought them their morning tea, but in that moment all John wanted was Sherlock. He wanted to take Sherlock, to make him his entirely and Sherlock was more than willing to be claimed.

* * *

When John woke up a few hours later he took a few moments to recognize where he was. The unfamiliar bedroom was covered in discarded clothing, and Sherlock was asleep next to John. He closed his eyes and contemplated whether he should get out of bed and go to his own room so they could go back to pretending, or if all pretenses should be thrown out the window.

He wasn't gay, of this he was certain. He had never been aroused before by the thought of being with a man so it seemed that Sherlock was the exception to that rule. John wasn't gay, it was just Sherlock. It was always just Sherlock, and would always be that way.

 _Life, I live mine_

 _Love, not one kind_

 _All is fair in love and war_

 _My manners out the door_

 _What do I need them for?_

 _I like 'em young..._

 **A/N: I actually wrote this initially to be the first chapter but didn't like it as an intro, so I reworked it and voila! I know it may be a bit of a stretch the way I worked this to fit the lyrics, but I really love this song and wanted to use it. I did try and make the chapter longer but decided that short and sweet was better than long and bloated. Up next Talking Body, my favorite song on the CD. Until next time!**


	3. Talking Body

**A/N: Please notice the M rating. This is mainly for language and some scenes that I'm planning for the future. Smut is not my thing so don't expect much of that. This is my favorite song on the CD and it has proven to be a rather tricky chapter to write, especially since I don't write smut. Enjoy!**

 _Bed, stay in bed_

 _The feeling of your skin locked in my head_

 _Smoke, smoke me broke_

 _I don't care I'm down for what you want_

 _Day drunk into the night_

 _Wanna keep you here_

' _Cause you dry my tears_

 _Yeah, summer lovin' and fights_

 _How it is for us_

 _And it's all because..._

John slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Sherlock as he put on his jeans and then went into the bathroom. He was almost finished with his shower when Sherlock came in and joined him. He pressed John against the wall of the shower and joined their hands together, then he captured John's lips in a gentle kiss. When Sherlock began to stroke John's erection John moaned and tightened his grip on Sherlock's waist. Their kisses grew more heated as Sherlock continued to stroke John's cock. John groaned out Sherlock's named as he spilled into Sherlock's hand.

"Still not gay?" Sherlock whispered.

"Definitely not, you initiated that it hardly proves anything" John replied. They got cleaned up and made their way to the kitchen where Mrs. Hudson had already set out tea for them.

"You moaned my name."

John bit his lip and refused to meet Sherlock's eyes. Of course he had moaned Sherlock's name, the detective was all that he thought about, though he was not about to admit that. Dating women had never been enough for John-they never provided that feeling that he was looking for, a feeling that he belonged. With Sherlock John always felt like he belonged, even if Sherlock had a tendency to ignore him. Meeting Sherlock had revitalized John, it had changed his life in a way that he could have never imagined. Now he just needed to be willing to let it continue to change.

He was not ashamed of how he felt for Sherlock, whatever it was that he felt, he just didn't want to have to explain himself to other people. Things were so much easier the way they were but the idea of more was tantalizing. After the night he and Sherlock had just had John wasn't sure he wanted to give up what they had just become, though he wasn't sure he wanted to try and explain their relationship to anyone.

After a few moments of silence John closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Sherlock as he brought their lips together. They stumbled back to Sherlock's bedroom, knocking over a few things in the process. They collapsed into bed and spent the rest of the day exploring each others bodies.

 _Now if we're talking body_

 _You got a perfect one_

 _So put it on me_

 _Swear it won't take you long_

 _If you love me right_

 _We fuck for life_

 _On and on and on_

 _Love, give me love_

 _Anything you want I'll give it up_

 _Lips, lips I kiss_

 _Bite me while I taste your fingertips_

Over the next few months they continued to indulge their passion. They had learned to start locking the doors to avoid having Mrs. Hudson walk in on them and Sherlock had suddenly developed a desire to shag in every deserted alleyway they came across. He usually won the argument. They still fought, solved cases and denied they were a couple (at least John did). Four months after they started sleeping together things seemed to change, at least in a way that became more obvious to the people close to them.

While they were at a crime scene Sherlock encroached on John's personal space to run over some deductions. It was a new habit he had formed-making sure that John not only agreed but that Sherlock was being polite about his findings. The encroaching on his personal space is something that Sherlock has always done. John thought this new change was endearing, though Sherlock noticed that people had begun to keep a closer eye on him, as if they were trying to figure out what was different. So many people already treated them like a couple that it didn't really change anything, even if John refused to accept they were a couple.

Sherlock went to examine another corner of the crime scene while John held back and waited for his conclusion. He had always found it best to sit back and let Sherlock work rather than try and interject too much. While it could be beneficial, more often than not it only slowed things down and John desperately wanted to be alone with Sherlock.

"How long ago did it happen?" Lestrade asked John.

John looked at him startled and tried to feign ignorance when Lestrade interjected. "He's been...different, for a few months at least. It wasn't until just recently that I realized it probably had something to do with you. So, how long have you two been together?"

"Four months." John sighed and stared at his feet. He thought about telling Lestrade that the first time anything happened had been seven months earlier, and that they had foolishly ignored their feelings for the months that followed. He thought about telling him how fantastic Sherlock was at absolutely everything and how ignorant he had been to think he could ever live a normal life with Sherlock. Instead he just shifted uncomfortably and continued to stare at his feet.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," Lestrade said. He clapped John on the shoulder then went back over where the other officers were standing, no doubt waiting for Sherlock's revelation.

Once the case was solved Sherlock came over to John, placing his hand on the small of his back as he leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Let's go home." John looked at him and smiled, hoping that he didn't look too excited about the prospect. The desire to kiss Sherlock right then began to grow inside of him, and he imagined how everyone would react if they did kiss. It was not the right moment, so instead they hailed a cab and headed back to their flat where they spent the remainder of the day in bed.

 _Now if we're talking body_

 _You got a perfect one_

 _So put it on me_

 _Swear it won't take you long_

 _If you love me right_

 _We fuck for life_

 _On and on and on_

 _Bodies_

 _Our baby making bodies we just use for fun_

 _Bodies_

 _Let's use them up 'til every little piece is gone_

 **A/N: For anyone familiar with this CD I realized as I was writing it how hard it is to separate out the sex from the love (the CD is broken into three parts, the first is Sex and the second is Love, the final one is Pain, and we'll get there eventually). However, I feel like the bond that Sherlock and John share is so strong that the sex and love will always be intertwined. Hope you liked it. Until next time!**


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